Greetings, it is your Wonkette “Signs And Wonders” reporter Evan, coming at you directly from the Upside Down AKA “totality.” (Undisclosed location in Arkansas.) And to begin our day of apoc-eclipsing or whatever it is, we would like you to take a moment to reflect back on what happened last time there was a total solar eclipse in America, in 2017, when Donald Trump was inexplicably the president. He had ONE JOB, and it was do not look straight at the eclipse.
This really happened.
We would theorize that maybe that was the moment the idiot truly fried his brain, but TBH there’s no evidence it was in better shape before that day than after.
Be careful out there today, kids! Don’t look at eclipses with your bare eyeballs! Don’t do anything (Democratic) presidents wouldn’t do!
Evan Hurst on Twitter right here.
@evanjosephhurst on Threads!
I have profiles those other places but I think I forgot how to log on.
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