Jessica Tarlov Shuts Her Fox News Colleagues' Mouths, Episode 472,576


Jessica Tarlov often fills the token liberal spot on Fox News’s “The Five,” the person who in other iterations mostly exists to be a punching bag for whatever white fascists and incels fill out the rest of the show’s lineup.

But regular readers know by now that Tarlov is really quick and smart, and she knows how to deal with her idiot co-hosts, who happen to be some of the most impotent, incurious, unfunny and sad people Fox News has ever shat out. (Greg Gutfeld, Jesse Watters, Judge Boxwine, and … Dana Perino? Sure, let’s say it’s Dana Perino, it doesn’t matter.)


LIKE SO!

AND ALSO!


Yesterday brought another fun Tarlov moment.

They were talking about Joe Biden’s increasing efforts to show the American people what a threat to democracy Donald Trump is, and Judge Jeanine Boxwine Pirro of course blabbed something out about how NO THE DEMOCRATS are weaponizing the Justice Department, NO THE DEMOCRATS are trying to punish poor Trump for January 6, slosh slosh slosh NO THE DEMOCRATS.


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Then it was Tarlov’s turn.

TARLOV: I’m going to try to address as many of the points as I possibly can …

WATTERS: We have a commercial break in about 30 seconds.

TARLOV: No, no, no. Commercial break is when I am done with this.

And she was not done with this.

Here’s where the video below picks up:

TARLOV: But to say that Joe Biden is the threat to democracy, considering what Donald Trump and his band of lawyers tried to pull off in 2020, is complete insanity. He dispatched lawyers all over the country to overturn a free and fair election. A lot of them have pled out to doing this. A lot of them are still to face trial, and he’s doing his darnedest to make sure that he doesn’t have to show up in any of these courtrooms, because he’s definitely afraid of what’s going to happen there.

BOXWINE: He’s not afraid of anything!

She said it so somberly, like it was offensive to even suggest such a thing, the kind of stung tone that says, “You don’t REALLY believe that,” in a response to a hard truth that hurts to hear. (Listen to it, if you know the tone, you know it.) When you worship authoritarian figureheads like Trump, it’s got to be extremely upsetting when normal people point out what a frightened little bawk! bawk! bawk! chickenshit your god really is.

TARLOV: Oh, big man, not afraid. Whatever.

And Jessica Tarlov pointed it out.

BOXWINE: I know him, he’s not.

We can see him. He is.

Also, look at Boxwine’s face when she said that:

So funny.

TARLOV: You do know him and I don’t know him, but I don’t think that that man who doesn’t even want to sleep in a hotel bed wants to go to jail. So don’t refute what happened. We know about Sidney Powell, we know about John Eastman who just got disbarred, we know about Rudy Giuliani, who’s obviously not in a good position, how the mighty have fallen!

Yeah. He’s terrified. And yes, we know Eastman’s disbarment isn’t final yet. Tarlov made a teeny mistake, while fucking up Judge Boxwine by telling a whole bunch of truths. The rest of it stands.

We assume they went to commercial after that, now that Tarlov was finished.

The clip below was tweeted by the Biden campaign, because they’re fuckin’ smart.


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