On Monday, the news broke that Kindergarten Cop star and former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently got a pacemaker after his third open heart surgery.
“Last Monday, I had surgery to become a little bit more of a machine. I got a pacemaker,” he told listeners of his podcast, Arnold’s Pump Club.
Now, most of us would see that kind of news and think “Oh, that’s nice for him, and also a cute joke about how he was a cyborg in the Terminator movies” and move on.
But for the eagle-eyed anti-vaxxer, this was very exciting news indeed! Why? Because where else was he going to get a heart problem if not the vaccine that he had not only taken but encouraged others to take!?!?!? And mocked people as “schmucks” for not taking?!?
Of course, the other two surgeries Schwarzenegger had were in 1997 and 2018, so unless he actually is the Terminator and has the ability to travel back in time to get his pulmonary valve replaced on two separate occasions, there’s no possible way that, even if the vaccine did cause heart problems — which is possible but also far more likely that actual COVID will cause them — they would have caused those.
It’s also probably worth noting that he also would have had to travel back in time to plant many stories about his having aortic stenosis, a congenital heart defect.
But still, let’s take a look at that “fact checked” story — from a notorious fake news site called The People’s Voice dot TV (formerly NewsPunch, formerly Your News Wire)! Which we’re not actually going to link to, because fuck ‘em.
According to Schwarzenegger, those who chose to exercise their constitutional right and refuse the jab were “schmucks” who could “go f*ck themselves.”
Life comes at you fast. Three years after his social media campaign to coerce the world to get vaccinated, Schwarzenegger is suffering the same chronic heart problems afflicting many of his vaccinated and boosted peers.
Schwarzenegger revealed on Monday that he has had three open heart surgeries in recent times and he now requires a pacemaker to keep his damaged heart beating.
So, so fact checked. Except for the whole bit about how the other heart surgeries occurred before pandemic even happened.
The author, one Baxter Dmitry, goes on to name other people who have had the vaccine and died, either “suddenly” (which these people believe is code for “from the vaccine”) or from a heart issue … or are simply sick with “turbo cancer.” Which is a new one on me!
Fast forward a couple of years and karma is striking down those same YouTubers who took the jab and cashed in on Big Pharma money.
Hundreds of these young and healthy YouTube influencers are now being diagnosed with cancer – and many of them have admitted they are suffering from rare and aggressive turbo cancers.
Not turbo cancer!
Unfortunately, as recent events have shown us, people like this are not the only ones who are susceptible to speculation and conspiracy. For several weeks, we saw people wildly speculating that the royal family was hiding Kate Middleton for some nefarious reason. I will admit that I still do not have the slightest idea what any of that was about and I still do not understand what the photoshopped pictures were supposed to mean, or if people thought she had been Shelly Miscavige-d or what — but I sure am glad that I did not hop on that bandwagon, given that it turned out to be cancer. Not turbo cancer — and yes, we saw idiots on the internet saying she’d vaxxed cancer into herself — just the regular kind. I’m also glad that this site did not go in for any of that either. It’s never necessary, because nearly all of the time, it is possible to just shut up until you know what is going on.
Luckily, as far as I can tell, no one is doubling down on the Katespiracy the way real conspiracy people and anti-vaxxers tend to do, because no one really invested their whole ego in anything about that being literally true. That seems to be the key here.
There is a part of me that feels genuinely sad for the real conspiracy theorists sometimes. I know I’m not supposed to, but I do. Not the grifters, but the people out there who just believe stupid things and want so badly for people to tell them “You know what? If you say it’s true, that’s all the proof I need.” I see them getting so goddamned excited about the worst things happening to people, believing that they are experiencing the ecstasies of schadenfreude, when anyone with the ability to read an entire article knows that they are lying to themselves. I think they must feel so sour inside and I really feel like that must be a terrible thing to have to live with.
I can’t relate, because frankly I’m such a pessimist that I usually hope I’m not right. Really! Let’s all always hope that I am wrong, forever, about everything.
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